Roles in the Bullying Cycle – The Victim

The Victim

Victims can fall into two groups though usually, they are in the first, namely: passive, submissive, clumsy, quiet, sensitive, anxious and with low self-esteem. These qualities make them easy targets. Some even believe that their lack of assertiveness acts as a cue to the bully. Often those who are small, thin, reach puberty early or late can also find themselves in the firing line.

The second and far less common victims are:

Irritating, sometimes hyperactive and therefore annoying which triggers the bully to pick on them.

Victims often have fewer friends, eat alone at lunchtime, wander the playground on their own and therefore are easy targets for a bully. To make matters worse, a victim of bullying is often perceived poorly by their peers and therefore faces even more rejection from their peers, isolating them further.

Parents of bully victims sometimes try to overprotect their child. These parents tend to avoid open disagreements with their child and try to create a sense of harmony in the household at all costs. Unfortunately, this makes the child less able to deal with conflict and when faced with bullying even less able to cope. They are even more likely to be victimized by peers who do not bully them, but, are given to taunts and teasing.

Also, parents of victims often become socially over-involved with their child to make up for peer rejection, fetching and carrying for them and reducing their sense of independence. Again, this only makes the child’s problems with peers worse rather than better.

 

Beat the Bully

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